When we get a good grade, it feels good, doesn’t it?  There is nothing wrong with wanting to get good grades because one is interested in  academics and genuinely keen in learning. But what happens when our entire lives revolve around grades? Our mood changes depending on the grades we get or how much we are praised at school for our academic performance. Our mental and physical health become scarred just to get the “Good Job” or “Well done” that makes serotonin flow through our body. Throughout the last few years, the term “academic validation” has become widely known among teenagers and young adults because it affects them the most. In today’s article, we will discuss the famous term “academic validation”. I’m a hundred percent sure that discussing this is not only good for myself, but also for many more that identify with or crave academic validation.

 

Academic validation is primarily feeling good about yourself or achieved when you get praised in school, especially with grades. And while wanting to get good grades and do well academically is a good motivator to work hard, the problem comes when you overwork yourself to an unhealthy extreme just to sense the euphoria from “that” good grade that it comes with. However, what are the depths of this? For many people,  this problem might root from either the need to demonstrate something to someone or wanting to fill a void that’s found within themselves. Society has always taught us that everyone is always talented at something, like sports, arts, and robotics, among others. But as society is constantly teaching us that everyone excels at something, it can also make us feel like we have no talent at all. For example, when I was a kid I never felt good enough at something. Not school, sports, or arts. But one day when I was in fifth grade, I remember starting to get good grades at school, and because of it, people began to praise me. The feeling of being good at something, or constantly getting praised was like a drug. I liked how it felt, and as a consequence, I began to thrive in academic validation. But, it is good to reach for good grades, right? Yes, it is, the problem began when my whole world consisted of doing everything in my power, morning and night, to keep feeling the sensation that academic validation brought. Little did I know what was really occurring within me. 

 

I think none of us really see it as a problem until it begins to affect us mentally, emotionally, or physically. We need to take the signs that our body gives us as an alarm to stop. The physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion, the anxiety, depression, and insomnia are there for a reason. It’s clear that everyone’s experience with academic validation is different, some might have never struggled with it, but for the ones who had or currently have struggles with it, have you ever been told “Grades or school just don’t matter that much, chill a bit”? If you have, then you know how it feels when someone says this kind of stuff to you and the desperation that comes with it. Believe me, it’s easier said than done. Many of us would have “chilled” a long time ago if we knew how. It’s as if our brain knew for a fact that what we are doing to ourselves is not healthy, but it deliberately decided to disregard this information as useless and continue with the same patterns. When something makes us feel good, no matter how much harm it does to us, we don’t want it to stop. 

 

I strongly believe that one of the main reasons people are so resistant to break this cycle is because we romanticize it just to make it look like something good and pretty when it’s clearly not. Let’s talk about a fictional character vastly known for romanticizing academic validation. The infamous Rory Gilmore from “Gilmore Girls”. The girl whose life revolved around overworking herself just because society has always taught us that the ones who struggle and overwork themselves, are going to be successful. Rory Gilmore was known as a polite, smart girl, but as we saw on this TV show, she was constantly exploiting herself just to get perfect grades. Eventually, she became, as we know, a burnt-out kid. I guess we could crown Rory Gilmore as the queen of academic validation. Teens idolize Rory Gilmore and the habits all of us have adapted to keep up with this kind of lifestyle. We have come to romanticize the long study hours, the sleepless nights, and the stress we input into every assignment, but how much are we giving up for a good grade?  What is the cost of this lifestyle? The power we give to grades is insane. Grades shouldn’t define us or mold our life. 

 

I hate to break it to everyone, but school and grades are not our entire lives. There are many things outside in the world that are more worthwhile than grades. I’m not saying that school is not important, but it shouldn’t be at the top of our list. We need to learn to find a balance in our life that allows us to achieve our goals at school, or in any other ambit, but at the same time allows us to enjoy life. The job to change the malign cycle of academic validation is solely on us. By starting the change within ourselves, we can start the change in society. There is nothing wrong with taking a break. I know sometimes we relate relaxing with being lazy, but what you are actually doing is being conscious of your needs and helping yourself. It’s healthy to get good sleeping hours; it’s actually pretty nice. It’s good to go out with your friends, read a book, watch a movie, or play a sport. All the things that you enjoy and are genuinely good for your mental and physical health, are essential for your life. I know it’s not easy because I’ve been there, but don’t rush it, or don’t get stressed if you don’t see immediate results. Take one day at a time, because in the end,  it’s preferable to enjoy the journey of keeping a balance between school and a happy life, than living a miserable life focusing only on academics and depending on academic validation.